En retard

Before you say that’s an inappropriate title, you can blame the French. En retard is Français for “your plane journey is screwed.”

My main location stint is done. Fin. I have three flights to get home, but in typical fashion, the universe decided to throw out one last en retard by cancelling the Toronto-to-Vancouver leg of my journey.

This fitting bookend mirrors my outgoing journey, when I was forced—against my will—to spend a night in Montreal. This time, I had the pleasure of staying in Canada’s largest casino, a rather odd juxtaposition to my previous 53 days in small-town Canada.

To make the journey more enjoyable, I decided to spend a good chunk of my flight time looking for a dropped AirPod that seemingly teleported into a quantum dimension.

Amongst other random things of note in Nova Scotia, I saw two signs—one offering shelter from the summer sun: “Our church has prayer conditioning.” And the other, a puzzling statement from someone concerned about our future: “Robots don’t pay taxes.” Both of which kept me amused on my journey.

The last little while has been a challenging one; on a list of the top 100 things that can go tits up on shoots, we probably hit 80 of them. But that’s what makes this strangely enjoyable. The challenge of documentary filmmaking is what I think I enjoy the most—along with meeting interesting people you’d never normally cross paths with.

The average day for me is 16 hours, during which I’m working every minute I’m awake. It’s non-stop and relentless. But that doesn’t mean it’s stressful. Even in the face of ridiculous circumstances, I’ve managed to chuckle my way through things and stay pretty chilled. Well, at least I think so—maybe others would say differently!

I enjoy the problem-solving—both logistical and storytelling. I enjoy the early mornings and late nights, and I enjoy the versatility of shooting, directing, diving, producing, and being general dog’s body. My job is to deliver a story, come wind, rain, or shine. And I’m pretty pleased to say I have done just that.

My time at home started at nine days, was reduced to eight with the flight delays, and now I may have to return earlier than expected. But the end is in sight. In under a month, I will be unemployed. My fantasy of working at Staples may be nearer than expected…

Here are a few numbers from my life on the edge:

• 53 days filming

• 6789 kilometres driven

• 13 accommodations

• 2 broken cameras

• 1 broken monitor

• 1 leaky housing

• 1 malfunctioning drone

• 94 feet below sea level

• 40,000 feet above sea level

• 4 boats

• 9 crew members

• 3 U-Haul vans

• 2 trucks

• 2 instances of leaving my phone behind

• 1 instance of leaving my credit cards in a washroom

• 2 forest fires that affected shoots

• 2 deaths that affected shoots

• 67 mph sustained wind speeds

• 2 degree minimum temperature

• 28 degrees maximum temperature

• 35 cases of gear

• 1 eel

• 9 lobsters

• 3 grocery stores

• 4327 mosquito bites

• Half a million shearwaters

• 1 mum and calf humpback

• 1000 eelgrass plants

• 1 day sailing

• 3 cinema trips

• 1 lobster named Brutus

• 1 moose

• 1 birthday cake

and

• 28.5 terabytes of data captured